I recently went through a really difficult period where I suffered from a severe lack of self-worth. People I thought were my friends were cruel or dismissive to the point I questioned whether or not I actually had or even deserved any real friends. It was a horribly dark place, and I retreated into it for what felt like a very long time. One day I was talking to someone I had felt was a true friend, even though I was reluctant to connect, afraid to find out they weren’t. But thank goodness I found the courage to push through my fears and share what I had been experiencing. 

A day or two later she contacted me and asked if I wanted to do an experiment with her. She proposed we do something together that she’d just heard about from Suleika Jaouad, the originator of The Isolation Journals. The project was a 100 Day Challenge to respond to a journal prompt every day from Jaouad’s latest publication, The Book of Alchemy.

I don’t think I’ll ever know if my friend (who really is a friend) made the suggestion just because she wanted a companion on a journey she planned to take, or as an attempt to save me from my pit of despair, but it certainly worked out well on both levels.

Doing this journaling challenge has been an exercise in reflection, like all journal work tends to be, in my experience; in this case the reflection reminds me of who I am and what I think and feel in concrete terms that I can identify and articulate. Seeing myself again as I am and accepting that self has opened a new chapter for me. Creating a positive habit like this (I do it every morning after feeding my cats and before brushing my teeth) has also been a game changer in ways I’m still processing. I still keep a journal, apart from this project, but the 100-Day Challenge is something that stands on its own, and gives me “ways in” to my inner life that I probably wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

My friend and I meet every week or so to talk, and read some of our responses to the journal prompts together. Not only has it deepened our relationship and given me the opportunity to really know her so much better, it’s also reminded me why I have kept a journal since I was a young girl. A young girl who desperately needed to learn who she was and what really mattered to her. 

These are important things it is always good to be reminded of, in good times and especially in bad times. Thank you my friend.