Last week about this time I emerged from a four-day Dreaming ceremony in the Santa Cruz mountains I have been doing every year with FireHawk and Pele of Resonance.
This time has become very important to me, as a way to re-calibrate myself with the natural rhythm of nature and the seasons and give myself a chance to re-align with my own internal pace. Entering this dance with time gives me a rare opportunity to slow down and reflect, to remember who I am beneath the busi-ness of my everyday life.
It is always suggested that we wait a while before sharing our
experiences, to let them sink in… so I’ve held back on publishing
this excerpt from my journal, written during the Dreaming, until now.
"This year’s dreaming finds me exploring something very precious and very subtle,
something that has frankly eluded me up until now; the nature of the
undulating line between being present and able to respond to what is being called forth in each moment, and being responsible for a pre-existing ‘list’ of things
I ‘should’ be doing.
This comes up for me so strongly because above all I’ve wanted to experience a sense of effortlessness and not
being "pushed" in any particular way during this ceremonial time. Completely unstructured time is a rare occurrence in my life and even though this time is not – strictly speaking – unstructured, its structure is fairly unusual in its flexibility. Our guides are exquisitely skillful in creating a container that can adapt and hold what is needed for each of us as individuals as well as for the whole. There is no doubt we are dreaming as a circle; for and with each other and all of humanity, as well as for ourselves.
Through my own internal work I have learned what it is to be immersed in the busy-ness of my life with care and attention – making mental lists
to guide my activities capably and effectively; I also know what it is
to enter an emptiness that does not concern itself with the sphere of
"doing" at all. What I am learning in this season of dreaming is about
holding both at the same time: dancing in a delicate balance of emergence and
self-responsibility. Listening to what is being asked of me without being bound by it; making conscious choices to listen for what is really mine to do and step forward to meet it with joy and freedom.
This is an ongoing exploration, and it is wonderful to have this space to stretch out into and ‘practice’ what it is like to live within this different relationship to time and expectations. But as always the challenge is in integrating what it is I am learning into my ‘regular’ life … I’ll let you know how I do. :-)"